What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
