Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
