I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
