So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
