i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
