Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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