Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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