A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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