Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
