Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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