Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Even my vagina gasped.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
