I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize