you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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