I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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