what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
