last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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