The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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