it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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