Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
