why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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