Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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