You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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