I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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