Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
