This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
