He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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