I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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