Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
