Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
