Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
don't judge my taste in strippers
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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