idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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