a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
