Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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