This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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