woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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