Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
