Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I am spending my child support on dildos
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
