Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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