I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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