I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
