So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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