five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
