did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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