would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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