try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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