adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
