Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
