Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
