okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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