I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
