There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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