I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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