she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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