I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
