i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
