When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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