I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize