Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
