If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
